Those words ^ came with love from a friend. I’ve been MIA for weeks now. MIA because God called & He called with BIG NEWS! Well, a big calling & when God calls you kinda need to listen. But after the call, I froze. I’ve been frozen in place staring my calling in the face for 6 weeks now.
I have been riddled with questions… How do I do this? Where do I start? How do I incorporate it into the blog? Do I announce it? But how would I do that without explaining [ie…excusing] it? How do I mesh all these different topics together? I don’t know if I will ever have answers to some of those.
So here it goes…God has called me to teach, to write, to speak 😳 Like for real. Books. Studies. Sermons. Conferences- one day. Whoa! Mind blowing, big time God stuff!
He has been working this in my heart for a few years, a little at a time. I talked about it on launch day. When I started this site, I knew it would be an ever evolving thing. You rarely end where you start & so I knew the direction would change as life changed & as God worked in my heart.
As the gravity of this calling began to set in, I thought I was going to throw up on my feet. I was excited, but couldn’t help but wonder, “why did God pick me?”. Speaking in public has never been an issue for me. I have been a believer for a long time. I have been a writer at heart, since I was little. But why me? I, in no way, am an expert or highly educated in theology & the bible. I read it with a believer’s heart, screw it up on a daily basis, & get stuff wrong way more than I get it right. Why would God choose me?
One day, after putting a slightly cryptic post on social media, about God’s call to me & how unequipped I felt for what He has asked of me, a friend replied saying “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called”. Hebrews 13: 21 says “may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever. Amen”.
Through out the bible are stories of people God has called to do big things even though they were not prepared, equipped, or perfect. God called Noah to build a ginormous ark to withstand a world wide flood– Noah was just a farmer. In 1 Samuel, God calls a teenager named David to take down a giant– David wasn’t a warrior, he was a shepard who was the youngest of many manly brothers & who’s father didn’t even want to introduce him to Saul because he was so small. Moses was supposed to be murdered but was dumped in a river, to be rescued by the daughter of the man he would eventually overtake– but at the end of his life he wasn’t even allowed in the promised land. But God used them, He used them all. Flaws, failures, & wanderings, He used them!
So why can’t He use me?
Every morning for the past few weeks, I have been waking up & coming out here, to the front porch & spending time with God. Between here & my desk, God is growing my knowledge by leaps & bounds. He is pulling me through scripture & showing me things, I have never seen before. He is working in me like never before.
I’m excited about this path God is leading me through, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t still scared stiff sometimes. I still don’t know how to blend all the topics of this blog. I don’t know if there is a seamless way to do that. But from the beginning of this whole journey, my desire & intention was to encourage & do life with you guys. So let’s just see where this goes. I’m excited…I hope you are!