When Gratitude Is Difficult

We knew when we approached this series, that it would be tough for each of us. We knew we would be walking into uncomfortable territory and dissecting those dark, lonely areas, that the enemy wants us to keep hidden. Those places were our faith is the shakiest. And we were right.

So far, our team has done nothing but struggle with this series. Our original plan had to be scrapped because it become too much. I have attempted to write more times than I can count at this point and I have sat staring at a blank screen for hours at a time. Hours, I hoped would produce some result and eventually would make me feel like “YES! That is what God needed me to say!”

The most well laid plans, regardless of effort, sometimes fall short. With our last series Pray: why, how, and does it matter? , we introduced a new posting style, where we studied together on Monday’s and looked at the more applicable parts of our study on Thursdays. That same study style was supposed to carry through this series as well. And this point, I just hope we can get through series.

Unexpected is supposed to contain some deeply personal stories for us & it has proved, so far, to be much more difficult that we expected it to be. Every sentence I write doesn’t feel like the right one. I have hit erase enough times to want to give up. But then I think about how those stories that are the hardest to tell, are most often the ones that need to be told the most. Those things the enemy wants us to bury inside are the ones that need to light more than anything else.

So I can’t tell you what the next few weeks will look like here at HFL. I can’t tell you if they will be more lesson oriented or more like a personal journal as we work through these stories and issues as we type. I just don’t know. But I hope you’ll tag along with us… because I have a feeling the Lord will be showing up.

For now, I invite you to sit somewhere quiet and just let the words of this song by Side Walk Prophets sink in. Click this link and please hit repeat as many times as you need as the Lord works on your heart as well as ours, because sometimes all we can say when life doesn’t go our way is “Lord, make me broken…until you are my one desire”. We love you friend!

Make me broken
So I can be healed
‘Cause I’m so calloused
And now I can’t feel
I want to run to You
With heart wide open
Make me broken

Make me empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When you are with me
Make me empty

‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

Make me lonely
So I can be yours
‘Til I want no one
More than You, lord
‘Cause in the darkness
I know you will hold me
Make me lonely

‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making
I know you keep making

Lord, please keep making me

 

                  

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