October Series: 10/17-10/20 || Running Out Of Carpets To Stand On

I’m a pretty honest person. I am pretty open with life in general, I think we all should be…But what about those days that you’re just beyond frustrated? So frustrated you can’t focus? Well, that’s where I am sitting right now & since I’m a writer & I always harp on being real, lets talk about this.

***Now before you proceed, I want to be clear about what is ahead…you aren’t going to find a story with a nice solution boxed up & perfectly wrapped up with a biblical bow to finish it all off. I am complaining & whining & venting. We’ve all been there & I have a feeling someone, somewhere needs to know at least one other person is in that boat with them.

WRITING

This challenge was a challenge to write every day for 31 days. I was excited to start & even have a schedule written out. I kept the topics broad to allow myself space to be creative as well as figure out direction. But here I am, over half way through & I haven’t written or posted in 3 days. I crapped out. I’ve attempted to post but it didn’t work out…then it was Sunday, then Monday, now Tuesday.

Since week 1, I have been reading James 2 & studying & reading commentaries & I’ve got nothing. Nothing is standing out. I’ve prayed. I’ve done precept style studies. I have read it over & over & over & nothing. I should be on week 3 or 4 (I don’t even know) but I’m still on week 2.

 

SAHM

Most people probably know I’m a stay at home/work at home mom. The odd thing about this is that you have so much to do, you don’t have time to do it. So you don’t do anything because you can’t figure out where to start.

Our bed is not made.

Clean clothes are in the basket. Dirty clothes are on the floor.

Dirty dishes are in the sink. Clean dishes are in the dishwasher.

There is clutter on every surface, accompanied by dust.

The trash can is full.

Toys are scattered around the house.

Dinner isn’t cooked.

Writing isn’t done.

I haven’t done quiet time, yoga, or the bible study for Thursday.

I went grocery shopping yesterday, but somehow we have no milk, dog food, or dishwashing tablets.

There is half of an onion & two cloves of garlic chopped up & ready to make corn chowder, but I don’t want to make it because I would have to clean the food processor.

My kids have eaten so many goldfish in the last two days, they should be yellow & crunch when the walk.

 

WORK & BEING A BLOGGER/WRITER

I don’t want to take pictures, edit, or import.

I don’t want to write.

I don’t want to cook.

I don’t know where to start with DIY cleaning posts.

I’m stuck on James 2.

I’m bogged down learning writing technique.

I want to read & escape, but I can’t focus because of everything I “need” to do.

Plus the hair in the back won’t stay in my top knot (ladies with mid-length hair understand. The struggle is real.)

Two sessions that I need to complete sit in my editing software, but I don’t want to do them because of everything else already mentioned, plus my desk is a dusty mess & my computer is slow.

 

LIFE

My parents don’t live close. They have been trying to get back down south to be within driving distance, but God just keeps doors & windows closed. Last night, an oppurtunity was shut in their face with little to no explanation as to why. So they are back at square one. So here comes another winter. Another child’s birthday missed. Another season of being strangers to my kids.

Yeah, I know….

“God’s plan is better than our plan”

“He just has something better than we thought it could be”

“There’s a reason”

“He is sovereign”

…blah blah blah…I don’t need that shoveled at me right now. I get it. I know that– I really do. I understand.

…but I’m still frustrated…

because the rug I was standing on got ripped out from under me like a magician & a table-cloth. I’m stood there so confused as to what happened, but that glasses continue to shake.

So here I sit. So frustrated & bogged down in what needs to be done & to-do lists, that I can’t even function.

How is your day going?

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****no really, how is your day going? Connect with me on social media & tell me what’s got you frustrated & ready to give up!

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