Last night was hard. I had a hard time sleeping. Between the headache, the pain in my neck, & the thoughts swirling in my head, sleep alluded me for a few hours. This morning when I woke up, I don’t know if I could say my state of mind was any better. I decided I wasn’t going to plead with God to intervene or change the situation. He knows what we need & while I am praying over the situation, I don’t feel like pleading for God to change things is going to help. It is what it is. So where does that leave me?
Since I am a writer, my natural & first reaction is to write. I pray a lot, but when I really need to pray through something, I write. So I decided to write down all my grievances & allow God to work on my heart rather than the situation. As I was writing, I began to answer the grievances as if I was the friend who has heard enough of the belly aching, almost giving myself a reality check. Here’s how it panned out:
#1. We are doing everything right, what we are “supposed” to be doing; yet, the chips keep falling. The carpets we are standing on continue to be ripped out from under us. What can go wrong, will go wrong as they say.
– What do I expect to happen? Life sucks sometimes & things go wrong & break & don’t go the way we planned.
– What am I expecting from God? Do I honestly expect him to fix the car, increase the paycheck, stop the tantrums, & make everything hunky-dory in one fell swoop?
#2. The inside of the truck is a pool & we don’t really have the money to fix it.
– Is this really true? Don’t we have a savings just for rainy days like this…or things caused by rainy days?
#3. Brooks’ crappy attitude. He is in a bad mood all the time & infects the entire house.
– What do I expect from a 4-year-old?
– Isn’t it my responsibility to teach him & show him what he should be doing & how he should be responding?
#4. How can we achieve this dream of using land to help people if we can’t get anywhere financially to make it happen?
– Maybe our motive isn’t right?
– Maybe I need to look at all the things we are learning through this process instead of what we’re not getting?
Questioned by: “like what?”
– learning to live slimmer
– only spending what we have to spend regardless of wants or desires
– how to pare down our living style…even further
– living with what we need vs. what we want
All this just came out as I was writing, almost like braces on teeth & began to set me straight. Throughout the day, 3 verses/passages floated in my head & now I see why they where floating like a buoy with an anchor all day…
Matthew 6: 25-34- Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food & the body more important that clothes. Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns & yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today & tomorrow is thrown in the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry saying “what will we eat?” or “what shall we drink?” or “what shall we wear?” for pagans run after these things & your heavenly father knows that you need them. BUT [emphasis mine] seek first His kingdom & His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
1 Peter 5:7- Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you
Galatians 6:9- Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up
Each of these verses hit me just a little differently. Matthew tells us not to worry because “God’s got this, yo!”, but Peter says when we do worry give those worries over to God. Then Galatians sweeps in & tells us to keep plugging along; keep doing what is right & what God instructs us to do. Live right. Follow His commands. Take care of each other. Keep doing what you are doing for His kingdom & we WILL reap what we sow. If we plant it, there will be a harvest. Maybe not how, when, or exactly what or when we expect, BUT there will be a harvest.
Our problems are still present & they aren’t going away. We still have a truck that is leaking inside, but at least the forecast isn’t calling for rain anymore. Upside!